El Hazard is the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC. Oh My Goddess is the property of AnimEigo. The author owns only the writing. Oh My Demon God Part 2: Rapid Eye Movement During the Nocturnal Half of Midsummer's Day "The beach?" Makoto asked, blinking in surprise. Nanami grinned and nodded. "It's the annual class trip! Everyone's going. Didn't you know?" Sitting across the dining room table from his old friend, Makoto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, I *have* been a little busy," he explained lamely. "You had your head stuck in one of those books again, didn't you?" Nanami asked with a glare. "Now, Nanami," Ifurita said diplomatically, sitting next to Makoto, "Makoto works very hard for the Science Club." "That's not the point," Nanami told her with a hint of ice. Her expression softened as she turned back to Makoto. "Makoto chan, you should come with us!" "Um...Well...You see..." Makoto stuttered. There was a shrill whistle from the kitchen, and Ifurita stood up. "That's the tea. I'll be right back." The demon goddess hurried to the kitchen. "Oh, don't tell me you're still afraid of the water!" Nanami exclaimed after her friend's girlfriend had left. Nanami had been living with the two for three months now, and was still repulsed by the sickeningly sweet atmosphere that pervaded the room every time the two were together. "I am not!" Makoto said angrily. "It's just the ocean and I have some...professional differences..." "You can't swim worth squat! Just admit it!" "I can to!" "Prove it," Nanami said with an evil grin. "Take your girlfriend to the beach." Makoto froze. At that moment, Ifurita returned with a kettle and poured them all cups of tea. Nanami's evil grin intensified. "Oh, Ifurita, have you ever been to the beach?" Ifurita blinked and smiled. "No, I haven't." Makoto was throwing angry looks at Nanami and waving his hands to try to get her to be quiet. Nanami only grinned harder. "It's wonderful," she said. "You know...Makoto's school is sponsoring a trip there...You should convince him to take you." Ifurita brightened visibly. Makoto sighed in defeat. "Okay, why not?" "Goodbye, Makoto." "Later, Makoto chan!" Makoto stood on the front porch and watched as the two girls left the temple to go shopping. He sighed again. How could he let Nanami manipulate him that way? Then again, it's something she had always been exceptional at. As the girls turned a corner, a mailman started up the steps toward him. "Good morning," he said cheerily. "Good morning," Makoto replied. The mailman handed him several envelopes and a thick parcel about the size of a book. The college student looked at it quizzically. There was no return address. Who would send him a package? "It's probably some part Afura needs for the club," he mused. He walked back inside and opened it, finding to his surprise that it was a video tape. "What the?" He examined the tape's title, and his eyes went wide. "G...Goddesses of Lust?!" he stuttered. Who would send him a porn tape?! He grinned. Did it matter? "And as long as Ifurita and Nanami are out..." he mused as he strolled over to the TV, "There's no harm in taking a quick peek..." He inserted the tape into the VCR and sat down on the floor before the television. Suddenly, an image appeared on the screen. "I KNEW IT!!" the angry, purple-haired woman in the TV screamed. "I KNEW MY SISTER WAS GETTING INVOLVED WITH A PERVERT!!!" Makoto screamed in shock and fell backwards onto his back. Then, to his disbelief and horror, the woman began to climb *out* of the television. "Wait till I get my hands on you, you little hentai!" she growled. Makoto screamed again in fright and hurriedly crawled backwards until his back struck a wall. "No! Wait! You got it all wrong!" he cried. The woman pulled herself completely out of the TV and placed her hands on her hips. "Is that so?!" she asked harshly. Makoto got a good look at her for the first time. She looked about thirty years old, with short, light purple hair arranged in a decorative style. She wore a long, blue and purple dress that looked almost like armor. Her glare was harsh enough to melt solid lead. "So you're telling me you weren't just about to watch pornography!?" "Well..." "And I suppose touching yourself never popped into your mind!" "Hey!" The woman cracked her knuckles and started toward him. "You're a dead man, perv!" she told him. "Start getting used to the idea." Makoto cried out and looked for some way to escape. "Just who are you, anyway!?" The woman ignored his question. "My poor little sister! Forced to remain in the company of a lascivious pervert!" She reached out and grasped him by the collar. A blue ring on her left hand began to glow angrily. "Sister!? Wait! Are you saying that you're Ifurita's sister!?" Before she could answer, they heard the front door open. "Makoto?" Ifurita called out. "We're home!" The strange woman glared at him. "I guess you lucked out today," she hissed. "But if you lay one perverted finger on my sister, I'll fry your hentai ass. Got it?" Makoto could only nod his head in fright. "And I wouldn't tell my sister I was here," she continued. "We wouldn't want her to find out about that tape, now, would we?" Makoto shook his head quickly. The woman released him and started for the TV. "Who the hell are you?!" Makoto whispered in awe. The woman grinned. "Couldn't you tell? I'm Miz, the Goddess of Love." With that, she jumped back into the TV and disappeared, leaving Makoto sitting there in complete shock. "Makoto?" Ifurita asked. He turned and saw her standing in the doorway. "Are you okay? You look frightened." "Um...I was just watching TV," he replied lamely. Ifurita just blinked. "All right! All right! Everyone off the bus!" As Makoto, Ifurita, and Nanami stepped off the bus, the Shininome Tech faculty sponsor, Mr. Fujisawa, checked their names off the list. Makoto looked out at the sprawling ocean before him and sighed. "Ah, the ocean," he whispered, "My old nemesis..." "It's so beautiful!" Ifurita commented, coming up behind him. "Yes, beautiful," Makoto said quietly. "Beautiful like death..." "Huh?" Ifurita asked, looking past her key staff at him. "Hey! We're here!" Nanami cried, putting herself between the two. "Ain't it great?!" "Yes..." Makoto said darkly, glaring at the ocean. "Wonderful..." "Nanami, is Makoto alright?" Ifurita asked, blinking at Makoto's apparent change in behavior. "Oh, he's fine, Ifurita! C'mon! Let's get you into a bathing suit!" With that, Nanami grabbed Ifurita's arm and dragged her toward one of the changing areas, leaving Makoto alone to stare at the ocean. "One of us shall not leave here alive this time, ocean..." Makoto breathed in hatred. "That suit better be a conservative one-piece, or you're a dead man, got it, hentai?" This was enough to startle Makoto out of her reverie. "Huh?" He turned his head and found Miz standing next to him in a purple bathing suit. "Augh! You again?!" Miz just glared. "I'm keeping an eye on you. I know what you're thinking. The beach. My sister in a skimpy bikini. Rubbing oil on her back. Well, just you forget it, because I intend to stick to you like white on ri...." She stopped and looked up. "OH MY GOD! WHO IS THAT DELIGHTFUL HUNK OF MAN!?" Makoto blinked in shock. "Huh?" Miz grabbed his head and turned him around until he was staring at Mr. Fujisawa. "Mr. Fujisawa?!" He asked in shock. Since when was his sensei a delightful hunk of man? He cried out as Miz let go of his head, and he slumped to the ground. He looked up and found Miz holding her hands over her heart, her eyes closed in rapture. "Mr. Fujisawa," she breathed. "My mortal hero..." "Um..." Without another word, the Goddess of Love ran towards the bus where Mr. Fujisawa was still checking off students, a cigarette clenched firmly in his teeth. Miz stopped before him and quickly checked her hair in a bus mirror. "Excuse me, kind Sir," she began, "But I'm lost. Could you help me, please?" Fujisawa blinked at the smiling woman before him. "Er...of course. Anything I can do to assist...um...Miss?" "OH YES, IT'S 'MISS!' And I would be *very* appreciative for any assistance you could provide..." Makoto just shook his head and sighed. "Makoto!" He turned, and his jaw nearly hit the sandy floor. Ifurita, staff in hand, and wearing a beautiful purple and white one-piece, was running towards him, waving and smiling at him. Makoto's nose began to bleed from the stress, and he quickly covered it, throwing a look at the bus for Miz, but the Love Goddess was already gone. He breathed a quick sigh of relief. Ifurita stopped in front of him and spun around, showing off her bathing suit. "How does it look?" "It...um...It looks great," Makoto stuttered. Ifurita giggled and took his arm. "Come on! I want to go down to the water! Oh, this is so exciting, Makoto!" Makoto smiled and followed Ifurita down to the beach. At least she was having a good time. "Makoto? Are you all right?" Ifurita asked again. "Huh?! Oh yeah! Sure!" Makoto replied quickly, looking around for any hint of Ifurita's overzealous sister. "What makes you think there's anything wrong?" Ifurita blinked up at him from her position on the beach blanket. "You just seem nervous." "I'm not nervous!" She smiled and got up onto her knees. She moved behind him and began to gently massage his shoulders. Makoto closed his eyes and began to relax. "How's that?" she asked. "Wonder..." "Hi, Makoto!" Makoto's eyes popped open at the sound of the familiar voice. "Rune?!" Looking up, he saw a petite girl with long, light brown hair smiling down at them. "It *is* you, Makoto!" "Makoto, who is this girl?" Ifurita asked. Makoto gulped. "Oh, I'm sorry," the girl said in mock apology. "I'm Rune Venus...Makoto's girlfriend..." "*EX* girlfriend," Nanami spoke up, appearing on the other side of them, facing off with Rune. "As I recall, you dropped him the second *those* showed up." She pointed at Rune's rather ample chest. "Hmmph!" Rune said with a glare. "And what are you, his mother?" Nanami put her hands on her hips and glared. "I happen to be a *very* close business associate!" "Uh huh...Sure you are..." Makoto and Ifurita looked back and forth between the two women they had found themselves caught between. "Hey!" Nanami cried, "I'm not the one who dropped him the second the football team realized what sex you really were!" The short brunette fumed. "How dare you!?" "Dare what?" Nanami asked innocently. "Point out the fact that you're a slut?" Rune growled and looked down at Makoto. "Makoto, it was nice seeing you again." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed off. Nanami giggled. "What a tramp." "Who was she?" Ifurita asked again. "Just some girl I used to go out with in junior high," Makoto answered sheepishly. "I don't see what you ever saw in her," Nanami told him. "Well..." "Was she not a good person?" Ifurita asked. "Er..." "The girl's a skank!" Nanami told her. "Um..." "Skank?" Ifurita asked. "What's a skank?" "I'm going to go see about renting a raft!" Makoto said suddenly, wanting nothing more that to escape the conversation as soon as possible. He got to his feet and started jogging for the raft rental booth. "So you really are a Casanova," Miz said bitterly. "ACK!" He turned and found Miz standing there, glaring angrily at him. "I thought you were out with Mr. Fujisawa!" Miz sighed. "He ditched me. I must be losing my touch. Don't worry, I'll find him, and when I do, I'll..." She blinked. "Hey! This is about *you*, remember!? Now who was that girl!? One of your many conquests, I expect!" "It's not like that at all!" Makoto cried, bracing to defend himself from an attack he saw as inevitable. "Oh, I bet! I saw the rack on that hussy! It's easy to see where *your* preferences lie!" "It's not! Honest!" "You lying pervert! I should.....MR. FUJISAWA!!!" Makoto turned and found Mr. Fujisawa about fifty yards away. He looked up at Miz's hail and immediately began looking for cover. The young student didn't blame him one bit. "Masamichi! Where have you been!?" Miz giggled and ran toward him, knocking Makoto aside forcibly. Makoto took his chance to escape, quickly paying for a raft and dragging it back to the beach blanket. Makoto rowed steadily and looked up. They were moving pretty far away from shore, but at least that meant Miz wasn't going to pop up out of nowhere. Ifurita was having a great time. The smile on her face hadn't faltered once since they shoved off. She was trailing her hand in the water, watching a few fish swim below them. He smiled at her. This was perfect... Miz stood in one of the lifeguard towers, arrayed in her new disguise, a yellow bathing suit with a red cross on her chest. She stared out at the ocean through a set of high-powered binoculars. "Dammit," she muttered. "I turn my back for one second and the little pervert whisks poor Ifurita away to have his way with her. He is *so* toast..." She began scanning the beach and found another target, Mr. Fujisawa, standing behind a dumpster, was pulling a small liquor bottle out of his pocket... "OH! MY DARLING!" Miz cried happily. She began to wave at him. "DARLING! IT'S ME! YOUR GODDESS OF LOVE!!!" Through the binoculars, she saw Fujisawa look up in her direction, his eyes going wide. He tossed the liquor bottle aside and began to run. "OH NO, DARLING! DON'T DENY OUR ETERNAL LOVE! COME BACK!" Miz hopped down from the tower and started after him. "MASA-MI-CHIIIIII!!!" she called after him. "Cripes!" Fujisawa huffed as he ran for his life. "What the hell is wrong with that lady!?" A wave struck the raft without warning, and Ifurita cried out as she lost her balance. Makoto gave a cry as she fell on top of him. They collapsed together on the bottom of the raft. Their eyes met as they lay there together, holding one another. Ifurita's soft eyes stared at him. Makoto gulped nervously, but nevertheless leaned forward until his lips were only an inch from.... "GANGWAY!!!" "HUH?!" they both cried. *FA-SHWOOM!!!* The wake struck their raft, knocking it over and throwing them into the water. Ifurita gasped as her head popped to the surface. "Sorry about that!" someone called. She looked up and saw Rune standing at the stern of a large powerboat. "Rune?!" Ifurita said, blinking in surprise. "Hey! Where's Makoto?!" "MAKOTO!" Ifurita dived below the surface and searched for the young student. She saw him sinking not far away and kicked out with her legs, swimming toward him as fast as she could. The demon goddes held her staff tightly in her hands, consumed with nervousness as she sat next to Makoto's bed, watching him sleep. She felt a tear run down her cheek as she remembered the day's events... *CRACK!* Ifurita reached up and felt the left side of her face warm from Rune's slap. She blinked in shock. "How could you be so stupid!?" Rune demanded, staring down at her with her hands on her hips. "Taking someone who can't swim so far offshore!? What were you thinking?!" Her hands tightened around her staff. What had she been thinking? She had been so excited about going to the beach, that she hadn't even taken Makoto's feelings into account. "I'm so sorry, Makoto," she whispered. "Ifurita?" She gasped and looked at him. His eyes were open, and he was looking up at her in concern. "Are you okay?" he asked. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words emerged. Finally, she managed to get, "I'm so sorry," out before running from the room, consumed with guilt. "Ifurita! Wait!" The demon goddess didn't stop. She fled the room as fast as she could. "Ifurita," he whispered after her. "Yes! Mission accomplished!" Chibi Miz declared from behind a potted plant near the window. Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, Chibi Miz split into two Chibi Miz's. Chibi Miz A turned to Chibi Miz B. "Miz, dear, you are such a goddess," Chibi Miz A told her. "Oh, no, dear!" Chibi Miz B replied. "I'm nothing next to you, Miz!" The two laughed and rejoined. "Hmmm," she thought. "Still...A professional is never afraid to go the extra mile..." She sensed the approach of a certain someone nearby and decided to act. In a flash of smoke, she appeared before Makoto in her normal form. "Good job, perv," she told him. "Now you've made her *cry*!" "Wha? Huh? You?! Cry!?" Makoto blubbered. Miz sighed dramatically. "I can't bear to see my sister cry...So how about I help you a little?" She smiled innocently. "Help me?" Makoto asked. His expression darkened. "Why so eager all of a sudden?" "I *just* want to help my sister," Miz told him. "Is that so wrong?" "Well..." Miz snapped her fingers, and a vial appeared in her hand. "Here. Drink this," she told him. Makoto took the vial and looked at it skeptically. "What is it?" "Just a little something to give you confidence," Miz told him conspiritorially. "It'll make you a full-fleded crusader of love!" She clasped her hands in front of her and sighed. "Just like my big, cuddly, Mr. Fujisawa!" Makoto arched an eyebrow. "Sensei? A crusader of love? Just curious, have you two even had lunch ye..." "HE'S A CRUSADER OF LOVE! NOW DRINK THE DAMN POTION!!" "Yes, Ma'am!" Makoto said fearfully, pulling the stopper on the potion and drinking it down in one swallow. "Good boy," Miz said, patting his head. There was a knock on the door, and Miz grinned. "I'll just leave you two alone." "Wait," Makoto said groggily. "I feel funny...." "Um, yeah...That's confidence. Bye." She disappeared in a puff of smoke. Makoto swayed uneasily from side to side. The knock came again. "Makoto?" Rune asked from the other side of the door. "Are you there?" "Rrrrrrruuuuuuuuunnnnnnneeeeeeee?" Makoto slurred. Chibi Miz stood behind the potted plant and nonchalantly filed her fingernails. "If I were any more clever," she said to herself, "I'd have Kami sama's job..." Rune leaned against the door and listened for movement. Suddenly, the door opened, and she was caught off-balance. She fell forward with a startled cry and landed on the hard-wood floor. She looked up in annoyance and found Makoto staring down at her with an odd expression on his face. "Um...Makoto? Are you okay?" "Rune," he whispered. "Um...Yeah. Look, I just wanted to see how you were...and... apologize to Ifurita. I guess I was a little hard on her." She climbed to her feet and blinked as Makoto stepped closer and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Um...Makoto?" "Rune..." (What am I doing?) Makoto screamed at himself. Rune began to back up and out the door again. Makoto followed her, whispering her name over and over again. "Makoto!? What do you think you're doing?! What about Ifurita!?" (WHAT ABOUT IFURITA!?) his mind screamed. "I love you, Rune," he whispered. The sound of a flower pot breaking made them both turn their heads. Standing not far down the hall was Ifurita, a look of utter horror on her face. A broken flower pot was at her feet. (IFURITA!!) his mind screamed. (IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!) "It's not what you think!" Rune told her frantically, unknowingly echoing Makoto's thoughts. Ifurita wiped a tear away and sniffled quietly. "Makoto? Is that how you really feel?" (NO! NO! NO!) "Because if it is," the demon goddess continued, "I'll just step aside. You...You're the only reason I'm here, after all. I'll...I'll just go home..." Makoto cut her off by clutching his head and screaming in pain. "Makoto!?" Ifurita asked worriedly. Before she could move to help him, Makoto was running down the hall in the opposite direction, moaning in pain and holding his head in his hands. Ifurita ran after him. "Makoto! Wait!" She ran right past a very confused Rune and out the door after him. "Makoto!" Ifurita called out as she chased him. "Wait! What's wrong!?" The drugged student ran into the water of a small lagoon and collapsed against a rock. Ifurita finally caught up with him and took him by the shoulders. "Makoto! Please! Just tell me what's wrong! If you love Rune, then please, just tell me!" Makoto cried out again and squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to regain control of himself. "What's wrong!?" Ifuria begged. That's when she saw it. Clutched in Makoto's right hand was a vial. A very *familiar* vial. She gasped and grimaced in anger. Standing up, she looked up at the sky. "MIZ! WHERE ARE YOU!? SHOW YOURSELF!" The Goddess of Love appeared on a rock not far away. "Hi, Sister," she greeted with a wave. "I heard about what happened. I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out." Her tone was one of sympathy, but Ifurita could tell she was just *aching* to smile. "What did you do to him!?" Ifurita demanded accusingly, pointing at Makoto. "Um...Do?" Miz giggled nervously. Ifurita stared her down. "Okay, so I gave him a little...tiny...bit of...well.............. Love potion..." "LOVE POTION!?" Miz put her hands on her hips and went on the defensive. "Look, Ifurita, I was doing you a favor. You could do *so* much better than him!" "Change him back this instant!" "Why should I!?" Ifurita charged her staff and pointed it threateningly at Miz. "This is why!" Miz screamed as Ifurita let loose several energy blasts at her sister. The Love Goddess flew fifty feet into the air and frantically slapped at the hem of her dress, which was now on fire. "Change him back!" "It's a little harder than..." "Change him back or...or...." Miz crossed her arms over her chest. "Or what?" Ifurita looked at her dangerously. "Or I'll tell Mr. Fujisawa how old you really are." "YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" "Try me," Ifurita told her with a grim smile. Miz sighed in defeat. "Unfortunately...potions aren't like spells...They can't be simply turned off..." "WHAT?!" Miz ducked. "I'M SORRY!" Ifurita turned to Makoto and knelt down next to him. "Oh, Makoto....I'm so sorry." She sniffled and wiped a tear away. "I'm so sorry." A tear fell and landed on Makoto's cheek. "Ifu...rita?" "Makoto?!" Makoto blinked. "Don't...cry...Ifurita....please?" "Makoto?" Ifurita asked again. "Is that you?" He looked up at her. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry." "Makoto!" The demon goddess embraced him. Slowly, Makoto's hands wrapped around her and hugged her tightly. Watching from a rock fifty feet away, Miz sighed. "Okay, so maybe he's not *that* bad. Well, time to go, I guess." She hopped off the rock and started to float upward.... Makoto and Ifurita continued to hug tenderly, tears flowing down their cheeks. "Makoto...Does this mean you want me to stay?" Ifurita asked almost hesitantly. "Of course I do! I don't know what my life would be like withou..." He was cut off by the sound of a nearby explosion and the sound of a woman screaming. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ifurita picked up her staff and turned. "Miz!" The two ran to the source of the explosion and found Miz lying on the ground, dazed. Next to her was a glowing tablet with strange characters etched into it. "What does it say?" Makoto asked. "It's from Father," Ifurita said, amazed. "'It is apparent that the Goddess Miz has attempted to interfere with a wish contract and is to be punished by being suspended and banished to the mortal realm!'" "What?!" Ifurita turned to him and looked nervous. "I guess...I guess that means she'll be staying with us for awhile. I hope that's okay..." Makoto sighed. "It had better be okay!" Miz cried rising to her feet and placing herself between them. "Because if you think I'm letting the two of you out of my sight for a second, you've got another thing coming!" Makoto felt like crying. "Oh, Sister," Ifurita said with a shake of her head. "Now, let's talk about this sinful relationship you have," Miz said. "First of all, I find it highly inappropriate that the two of you are living under the same roof and aren't married." She turned a wither glare on Makoto. "And I had better not hear that you've been sleeping together..." Makoto screamed. Please send C&C to Davner doscher009@hotmail.com